Gig Report: Ferry / Legend, Axemen Aesthetic Hairpiece Do, Ambassador, Pt Chevalier, Auckland, NZ, 22 May 2009

Ferry / Legend
Ferry : Legend (1945-2009)

By Steve McCabe

Hard on the heels of their epic lower North Island mini tour, those pedal-pushing stalwarts of stage and screen, constant kerbside companions, touring and blossoming bosom buddies and lesbian action figures The Axemen and Hairdos got together one more time with a couple of other sets of touring veterans – Piece War and The Aesthetics – in a show with everything but Yul Brynner!

THE FOREGROUND MUSIC IS HERE

Badgers: endearing, yet still couldn't compensate at twice the price for just another nite with the boys
Badgers: however endearing, still couldn't compensate at twice the price for just another nite with the boys

From the four far-flung corners of the country they came in droves, from miles around they eked, far and wide they came to crane their necks for just a glimpse, a sneak preview, a peek at what was to come, an unprecedented tribute gig to the late great Bryan Ferry of Roxy Music, hastily mustered up by Steve, Bob and Stu (all big Roxy Music fans in their own right of course, and as such not one of them would end up leaving Point Chevalier without a sopping handkerchief on this nite).

Steve McCabe, Ferry's body double - I can't believe its not Ferry!
Steve McCabe, Ferry's Southern Hemisphere body double - I can't believe its not Ferry!

Not wanting to upset the girls, the Axemen left it to the very last moment to break the news of Ferry’s premature demise, causing a monumental cascade of wailing as the news broke.

Piece War – I can’t believe its not the Sirens!

Piece War - I can't believe its not Woodstock!
Piece War - I can't believe its not the Sirens!

Some Talibanis wanted to get some girls in the sack and stone them but it turned out they were already pretty stoned when they arrived so they left it at that.

Hairdos:  I can’t believe its not a Roxy Music Album cover!

Hairdos: I can't believe its not a Roxy Music Album Cover!
Hairdos: I can't believe its not a Roxy Music Album Cover!

Of course the rugby on the big screen was cancelled because of the telly ban.

Bob Brannigan - I can't believe its not Eno!
Bob Brannigan - I can't believe its not Eno!

Scrapping their initial set of all-original songs in deference to a hastily cobbled together set of Roxy classics the lads pressed on with the show through the vale of tears as though it were a tsunami or Mount Vesuvius – even Oliver’s Army would have had difficulty keeping a dry eye on this occasion. The most brazen and battle-hardened of mongol hordes charging along the steppes would also have wept at the sorry news, such was the furore.

Do you feel punk, Lucky?
Hairdos: Do you feel punk, Lukey?

AESTHETICS: FIRE AND ICE

Matt Middleton – I can’t believe its not Andy Mackay!

Aesthetics - pleasing
Aesthetics - I can't believe its not Eno!
Stu Kawowski - I Can't Believe its not Paul Thompson!
Stu Kawowski - I Can't Believe its not Paul Thompson!

Wide-eyed, whacky  and bushy tailed, the Axemen honed their craft like so many Armani-wearing, cravat-sporting, brylcreemed to the nines cads on their way to the country club in their cut and shut shortened limousine.

McCabes note-perfect renderings of ‘The Bogus Man’ and ‘In Every Dream Home, a Heartache’ inspired more than one young lady to peel off her panties and toss them stagewards and by the end of the first set it the stage was awash with underwear, a virtual octopuses grab-bag, and thats something you don’t see every day!

“My sole regret to this day”, Steve McCabe was heard to mutter in the alley outside the Ambassador, “is not to have included ‘Both Ends Burning’ on the list of Roxy covers we played on that night, especially considering Ferry’s dramatic expulsion from the earthly world with the coffin being set alight literally at both ends. I just couldn’t do it after my Mexican food poisoning experience. Just couldn’t go through with it. Sorry Bryan”

Bar Manager Peter Roach: found bound, gagged, bludgeoned and bloodied while the Hairdos downed Tequila slammers
Ambassador Bar Manager Peter Roach: found bound, gagged, bludgeoned and bloodied while the Hairdos downed Tequila slammers
who made who? the fonzie / ferry conundrum may now never be answered
who made who? the fonzie / ferry conundrum may now never be answered
Ferry wearing the cool fake leather sharkskin suit he wanted to be buried in at Vielles Charues in 2007. An ardent socialist with a taste for the high life, Ferry , although an animal rights activist had a peculiar taste for caviar which virtually devastated the sturgeon stock of both Belaluga and the South of France.
Ferry wearing the cool fake leather sharkskin suit he wanted to be buried in at Vielles Charues in 2007. An ardent socialist with a taste for the high life, Ferry , although an animal rights activist had a peculiar taste for caviar which virtually devastated the sturgeon stock of both Belaluga and the South of France.
Ferry's iconic black jag with CPL 593H numberplate - bidding on eBay now up to 90,000 quid
Ferry's iconic black jag with CPL 593H numberplate - bidding on eBay now up to 90,000 quid

2 thoughts on “Gig Report: Ferry / Legend, Axemen Aesthetic Hairpiece Do, Ambassador, Pt Chevalier, Auckland, NZ, 22 May 2009

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