Snapshot of Top Search Terms on the Blog, to June 2011

Search Views
dugong 6,357
switchblade 4,393
fonzie 4,047
humpback whale 2,809
whale 2,636
fingers 2,613
shrunken head 1,736
bonny and clyde 1,413
bloomers 1,187
sea cow 1,155
robert de niro 1,104
bonnie parker 1,040
old telephone 1,030
capitalism a love story 637
coca cola logo 615
humpback whale pictures 598
telepathy 557
kurt cobain diary 521
patton oswalt 502
whale poop 492
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clyde barrow 369
humpback whales 352
whale pictures 300
cyberman 285
stiletto 243
mick elborado 240
the scapegoat 228
robert deniro 223
cape fear 220
the fonzie 217
the beatles abbey road 196
pink dildo 196
axemen wordpress 193
bonny and clyde pictures 187
imperial state crown 187
robert de niro cape fear 184
horned whale 181
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aye axe men 171
dentures 167
telephone 161
de niro 160
aye axemen 160
axemen blog 152
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sth 133
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whale with horn 125
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kurt cobain diaries 123
eugene chadbourne 118
robert deniro cape fear 110
badgers 110
switch blade 110
bonnie and clyde 108
kurt cobain’s diary 107
occult figures 104
sea cow pictures 103
whale killing 102
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dildo png 87
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kurt cobain suicide note 78
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coca cola wave 69
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pictures of humpback whales 67
ascent of man 66
white humpback whale 64
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on the buses 58
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bonnie parker and clyde barrow pictures 52
dugong pictures 52
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the gordons 51
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ave sangria 50
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switchblade pictures 48
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old telephone pictures 47
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axemen blogspot 46
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?? ???? 44
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big pink dildo 42
bass fingers 42
whale images 41
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logo coca cola 40
appaling 40
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roxy music 39
shrunken heads 38
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underpants 36
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de niro cape fear 34
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whale picture 29
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????? 27
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dildo 27
humpback whale photos 26
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theaxemen.wordpress.com 26
abbey road cover 26
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capitalism a love story poster 26
big m milk 26
123 pleasant street 26
otter attack 26
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whale horn 25
kurt cobain crime scene photos 25
tom lax 25
seal of new zealand 25
shoes this high ep 25
cocacola logo 25
kurt cobains diary 25
mysterex blog 25
sharkskin suit 25
axemen three virgins mediafire 24
axemen + y2k blog 24
1981 springbok tour 24
60’s switchblade 24
picture of a whale 24
stu 24
chch 24
maori shrunken heads 24
?????? 24
?????? ??????? 24
the axemen blog 23
cape fear deniro 23
3 fingers 23
pictures of bonnie parker and clyde barrow 23
ritchie venus 23
pictures of a whale 23
picture of whale 23
the imperial state crown 23
small switchblade 23
pink reason 22
switchblade stiletto 22
coca cola stripe 22
mysterex 22
cpl 593h 22
how to make a switchblade 22
helm ruifrok 22
steve humann 22
smelly 22
dugong sea cow 22
coke logo 22
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cape fear de niro 22
kurt cobain smoking 21
bonnie und clyde 21
abbey road beatles 21
bonny clyde 21
picture of fonzie 21
robert di niro 21
1960’s switchblade 21
eski telefonlar 21
coca cola enjoy 21
ambassador pt chev 21
humpbackwhale 20
bloomers for girls 20
fonzie photos 20
eggman walrus 20
venus 2000 experiences 20
keporkak 20
the scape goat 20
chicks hotel 20
humpback whale picture 20
1950s switchblade 20
hump back whales 20
fonzie pics 20
still single 20
dildo pink 20
piece sign 20
leisha ward knox 20
morrissey 20
??? 19
psychedelic horseshit 19
brent hayward 19
mental telepathy 19
south dunedin 19
stu kawowski 19
coca cola logos 19
the real bonnie and clyde 19
eggman beatles 19
bonny and clyde photos 19
new zealand map tattoo 18
peeing girl 18
whale poop pictures 18
david theobald 18
steve mccabe 18
patton oswalt live at maxwell 18
humpback whale diagram 18
barbara ward nz 18
y2k blog 18
pictures of fonzie 18
dildo.png 18
the dugong 18
blundstone 18
bound gagged 18
eski telefon 18
tcb 17
white bloomers 17
roxy music album covers 17
affco 17
beatles walrus 17
shrunken heads pictures 17
beatles album covers 17
new zealand map tattoos 17
large dildo 17
humpback whale images 17
fuck pants 17
peeing in a cup 17
whale liver 17
robert deniro wife 17
1950’s switchblade 17
shonen knife 17
“mick elborado” 17
humpback whale face 17
switchblade pics 16
pictures of fingers 16
clyde barrow and bonnie parker 16
shrunken maori heads 16
classic switchblade 16
eat skull blogspot 16
festival poster 16
milano switchblade 16
the axemen blogspot 16
“nocturnal projections” + ” worldview” + “blogspot” 16
picture of a switchblade 16
cheap motel 16
killing whales 16
square sushi 16
kurt cobain cemetery 16
beatles abbey 16
chris knox 16
clyde barrow bonnie parker 15
fuzztoned whale 15
sheep effect punikaiki mp3 15
coca cola 15
johnny’s switchblade 15
sea cow images 15
life in the fridge exists 15
bill vosburgh 15
kurt cobain’s suicide note 15
festival posters 15
bryde’s whale 15
robert de niro pictures 15
diary handwriting 15
sushi maker 15
baby dugong 15
1950 switchblade 15
times new viking axemen split 15
axemen three virgins blogspot 15
kurt cobain poster 15
finger 15
captain cook’s map of new zealand 15
capitalism.a.love.story 15
pictures of badgers 15
bonnie and clyde pictures 15
cola logo 15
dr who monsters 14
old coca cola logo 14
springbok tour 1981 14
picture of a humpback whale 14
dildo clip art 14
cassette 14
shoes this high the nose one 14
old switchblade 14
happy bar wellington 14
kurt cobain smoking poster 14
beth murphy times new viking 14
eat skull 14
cobain diary 14
state crown 14
?????? ?? ???? 14
the walrus was paul 14
affco lyrics 14
humpback whale pics 14
flesh colored dildo 14
underground railroad morgantown wv 14
new zealand official seal 14
bolex camera 14
dugong pussy 14
bryan ferry 14
telepathy pictures 14
whale dung 14
“tom lax” 14
baby sea cow 13
celia mancini 13
humpback whale face good pictures 13
axemen 3 virgins 13
david theobald christchurch 13
capitalism – a love story 13
capitalism a love 13
buy switchblade 13
norbert haley 13
whale faces 13
dr who cybermen 13
candles on the cake 13
vfc4430 13
starý telefon 13
times new viking axemen 13
mere nihoniho 13
great scott boston 13
bonnie parker pictures 13
“say yes to apes” 13
alister parker 13
axemen new zealand 13
10 inch switchblade 13
how to draw a humpback whale 13
bonnie et clyde 13
whale humpback 13
kurt cobain smiling 13
john markie 13
square sushi maker 12
parrot cassette 12
chicks port chalmers 12
beatles abbey road cover 12
media club 12
dugong facts 12
german switchblade 12
bonnie parker photo 12
the old telephone 12
whale abuse 12
intimidate 12
hairdos 12
kurt cobain quote 12
rustle covini 12
picture of fingers 12
axemen taxman 12
coca cola label 12
mkultra 12
sushi maker test 12
a pink dildo 12
enjoy coca-cola 12
switchblade drawing 12
enjoy coca cola logo 12
the puddle 12
12 inch dildo 12
fat whale 12
dugong pics 12
bass player fingers 12
it boys 12
“robert deniro” 11
prsty 11
axe men blog 11
humback whale 11
chris knox barbara ward 11
doctor who cybermen 11
liesha ward knox 11
ugly whales 11
blue whale dead 11
flesh dildo 11
bonnie parker bar 11
whale watch 11
whale compared to a human 11
switchblades for sale 11
wmd symbols 11
pictures of bloomers 11
cheap 11
marsha ferber 11
scapegoat picture 11
peeing 11
axemen three virgins, three versions, three visions 11
axemen tour dates 11
coca cola racist logo 11
kurt vile 11
switchblade 1960 11
cobain diaries 11
whale erection 11
pictures of bonnie parker 11
big m flavoured milk 11
huge whales 11
pink waffle disease 11
whale pooping 11
kurt cobain in bed 11
dugong images 11
japanese killing whales 11
switchblade for sale 11
fonzie pic 11
forced exposure 11
whale harvesting 11
whale vomit 11
the axemen band 11
bonny e clyde 11
whale sex 11
mick elborado blog 11
bonnie and clay 11
single tumblr 11
dugong picture 11
girls peeing 11
whale photo 11

Stateside Axemen Spin-off Series Season 1 Comes to a Close

Season Finale Pt 3: universally praised

With an episode with the knife-edge cliffhanger to rival the ‘Who Shot JR?’ Dallas episode, the RICHY27ABLE  channel’s first season drew to a close on Tuesday 15 June with the much awaited SEASON FINALE.

Playing to tens of viewers stateside and countless on the Worldwide Web the series was universally acclaimed by critics and the across the Blogosphere and the Twitterverse.

The New York Times described the final episode as ‘Fellini-esque and quite superb’ while Egyptian dissident Hamand X tweeted “for 3 and a half minutes, the revolution stopped 🙂 for 200 seconds there was no conflict :O”, as he shared his iPod screen with soldiers who minutes ago had been sniping at them but laid down their arms to join the rebels in another kind of revolution, the YouTube.

Fusil de Chasse: vaunted runaway indy hit

Adding to the speculation is the question mark over Bens participation in the next series following the runaway success on the independent circuit of his ‘Fusil de Chasse’ following its last minute inclusion as a short at Sundance this year. Whist Ben dismisses such rumors as speculation it was widely reported he was seen in long discussions with Redford following the screening.

The Cordons — (no relation)

Reprinted from http://www.facebook.com/notes/mickle-borrado/text-for-the-cc-blog/10150208252973803 13/06/2011

By Mick Elborado

I thought smacking was illegal, but there I was standing between the dusty records and sheet music I’d started packing away, now handcuffed, and the hyped-up young cop, name, as always, unknown was saying ‘Just give me one ****** reason to smack you’ — the hand cuffs were not double locked, so they tightened — by the time we got to the cop-shop my would-be-smacking officer pointed out they should’ve been double-locked ‘to prevent them tightening’ — I told him I knew that. I also showed the two officers the deep grooves in my wrists.

But by then most of what I’ve collected over the years was debris — and the things I’d bought, been given, or created myself were gone forever.

Just some homeless c*nt with a bunch of junk?… Now I’m a hairsbreadth from homeless, but I can swear on a stack of bibles that I’ve easily prevented the incorrect release of a thousand times more tax than I can ever be grudgingly paid by WINZ for my remaining life as a benefit, or, if I’m cursed to live that long, and euthanasia isn’t mandatory, superannuation.

And while I was being paid peanuts for stopping big money getting incorrectly refunded ($24,000,000 from a trans-tasman imputation account on day one) I spent my money on stuff, rather than holidays, investments, or trying to get an extra 1% more than any other arsehole…

I’ve enjoyed watching the trivial way my lost stuff got reported by the NZPA and in the courts…

‘…he wanted to retrieve his hard drive’ one of the laughing demolition clowns told the cops for their provably false ‘statement of facts’.

Uh, no — a hard drive is just countless hours of work but I was once a reasonably infamous musician, so i was after my Peavey jazz classic amplifier with 14″ Black Widow speaker HP’d at $25 per week for two years, or the George van Epps ‘harmonic mechanisms for guitar’ I’d been workig through, or the two andband/perfect.strangers singles, one without a cover — or paintings given to me by artists getting more famous by the day, or autographed flying nun singles, auto’d on the day they came into CHCH by the people immortalised on ’em, ’cause I used to hassle Roger at the record factory, and Roy and the wonderful women at EMI, or posters from ’81 to 95, or handicam footage of bands playing in the now probably destroyed christhurch dives like quadrophrenia, the subway, the dux de lux, or mint copies of most christchurch and dunedin music magazines ’81 to whenever (Garage, alley oop, sunbum, every secret thing, and all the one-offs that sold for $1 or less each. (something crunchy, daughters of darkness, the Knox comic-zine)

Oh yeah, and shit that I wrote, or transcribed, and some photos of dead or absent friends, and my estranged family. Or even my ornate City of Bristol birth certifcate. And the rip it up review of the one time, on a band tour, that I lit a flaming log and held it to my crotch (the unlit end closest to the crotch)

If you want to trivialise this, and say ‘Well at least you’re alive’, or get all red-faced, either with anger at a law-breaker, or embarrassment at your own part inallowing this to happen to anyone in Christchurch then here’s an exercise…

Look at your room — not your house, garage or car, just the room you’re in now, even if it’s the kitchen. Now imagine it’s lifted fifteen feet above the ground so it dangles a wee bit, out of reach, but still with your stuff (microwave, borrowed vacuum cleaner, clothes, video, power boxes, sellotape, shampoo, whatever) in plain sight, and accesible to others. Now watch for seven or eight weeks until a a giant hand crushes it, and no one is liable. Oh yeah, and you’re uninsured so you can’t start again.

So… Yeah — ‘at least you’re alive’ — I’d rather be dead — ever try getting money out of WINZ to replace a lost life — I worked, for thirty years, and suffered arsehole bosses and corporate bullshit and buzzwords, and taught too many mindless mindless loser work-‘mates’ how tax actually worked, mainly to buy my books and records. Even though 99% of Christchurch would think my stuff was crap. It was christchurch crap. my crap.

Books — yeah well I’m poor now, my book budget since Inland Revenue tried screwing me up the arse for $14,000 in glass was $5.00 in a good week, invested in my favourite bookshop in…

First editions of the last three Pynchons, the works of Dave McGowan, and Daniel Hopsicker’s first two. An average of $50 per book — the last two I bought, ‘Sinister Forces – the Nine’, and ‘Unholy Alliance’ by Peter Lavenda were in the plastic cube I was packing when…

…well I wasn’t actually arrested — I was; verbally abused, laughed at by the demolition clowns, told the cop had taken a oath, and that I was in for a smack, and that I was causing busy people trouble, but as I pointed out as that cop and his partner (she just kept saying ‘Shut the fuck up’) finished having a leisurely laugh with the demolition clowns in the shakytown designer fluoro while the handcuffs bit in — ‘You haven’t actually told me I’m under arrest’

…this was as just before he started telling me I had a right to remain… silent, and (and not but) anything I said would be used in evidence against me. Maybe he said stacked, rather than used, but more likely he just thought it.

He then quoted the mental health act (year unknown) as the reason for my arrest. Me… with two (now three) certificates attesting to my sanity when examined. People might hate what I do and think, but it’s provably not due to any discernable mental health problem. Experts tend to be better at diagnosing that than non-experts.

Let’s see — I was also asked why I didn’t join a tribe, or leave NZ, if I disagreed with the law. And all the other insults I’ve now got used to. I pointed out to the cop that his brain wasn’t cut out for thinking as his statements were illogical.

Since then I’ve perused the misinformed comments in the equally misinformed on-line press articles, and have been accused of everything from trying to recover ‘kiddieporn’ (an anonymous coward’s comment) to ignoring proper procedure and not going through the correct channels.

I made enough contacts with ‘appropriate’ people to lose count. The only ones to actually help were the good people in the Porta-Comm offices at the art gallery.

The ones that didn’t gives a rat’s arse were the people in charge, including anyone on demolitions at the council, including Tiffany the third receptionist to hang up on me that morning a week or so before i was arrested with her inhumane ‘we can ignore what you say, and none of this is recorded’

That day, after that, again utterly furious with the inability of the council to listen, I went to the Art Gallery, and in a five-man USAR team led by Rene had the property checked to see if it was accesible. It wasn’t. I was told I could talk to the demolition team at the unknown date the building came down.

So those five USAR people wasted an hour or more each helping me. When they could have been USAR’ing more important things… …Bob Parker’s garden tools maybe — ’cause, as I yelled at the judge in court, if it was Bob Parker’s garden tools rather than my things then some c*nt would have rescued them intact (and probably by WestPac helicopter and on the front page of the press with him in a stinking and dustless orange jacket — mission accomplished? Bush did it on an aircraft carrier). It’s easy to forget Bob tried to stop rescue workers out at Kaiapoi, and the PM had to call him…

Or… Peter… the luckless guy at the Christchurch Council I rang who told me there were no after-hours numbers to deal with demolition matters, when I rang at 4:00 on the day before the Easter holiday, after leaving a message before 10:00 am that day asking to be called back with an idea of when the building would be demolished.

I was furious by the time I got to him, through yet another receptionist, but he assured me ‘the building isn’t on the list to be demolished’ and ‘it won’t be demolished as everyone’s taking a well-deserved break for Easter’ — either he or I mentioned that it would be inaccesible through that time so I then mentioned that if they started again on Tuesday the Easter break was meaningless in terms of accesibility to get my things — as always the conversation ended with his ‘I can’t promise anything, but you should be able to get your things…’

Oh yeah, and of course multiple emails and phone calls to property manager Pru at GoodGirls, trying to find out about a demolition date…

…and finally, at 7:00pm the night before, when I was in Lyttelton, Liz Harris, the owner, left a message saying the building’s being demolished at 9:00am tomorrow morning

So at 7:00pm — after a uncounted hours asking anyone that might know, I was actually given a D-date.

The time was too late to organise anything, storage, transport, helpers. Still, I have f***-all friends/family that would even bother to urinate on me if I was aflame. Asking someone for help with transport at 7pm the night before..? Hahahahaha! And ever tried hiring a truck or taxi on an invalid benefit (minus $33 per week for property damage), or getting free storage?

To get back to D-day…

Because of frustration and an inability to deal with the way New Zealand is today I take strong medication — heavily sedative — I wake up the next morning well after 9:00am

I get to the building site at 11:00 — the building is mainly in pieces but my room is intact with all the things easily salvageable. Here’s a pic of what can be done if someone wants to salvage things. Merivale shop, not a home for the marginal and nearly homeless.

The cordon… well this is where it and the law and the situation get really interesting…

I said to my lawyer in prison (after he explained that if I pleaded guilty I’d already served enough time — solitary confinement 23 hours a day in the at-risk unit at Paparoa Prison for 15 days — to be released), that I couldn’t remember actually seeing a cordon or any notices, but my camera was confiscated by the police — so I had no evidence of that.

So, this is what a Cordon looks like — and the legal definition, paraphrased from what the lawyer held, is that the scumbag in charge of earthquake action (Parker, Brownlee, or some other loser and clown) can delegate cordon-setting downward indefinitely, and apparently no public notice is required — so this is what a cordon looks like before you breach it. Be really careful, cause orange gates seem to be it. No notices, statements, tape, wire, people to tell you there’s a cordon — and I doubt there’s actually a notice anywhere in a public place, and probably no actual written paperwork — Cordon Bennett!

It’ll be interesting to see how anyone is supposed to know, rather than guess, where a cordon actually exists. My photograph shows at least one other, but unarrested, person (a person because of the lack of shakytown-designer-fluoro) was pretty damn near to being inside whatever cordon existed.

I walked, not ran across the debris, you’ll note that the quoted police witnesses that said ‘…he ran…’ are actually nowhere in sight in the first photograph as I approach the property. or the second photograph taken just as I see my room is still intact and salvageable and stopped taking pictures.

How the demo-clown witnesses knew ‘…i was trying to get my hard drive…’ is one of those evidentiary conundrums, I didn’t talk to any of them. And I certainly didn’t stop to banter. My experience to date is that if I’d asked to get my things from anyone with a bit of power I’d have been obstructed or told to p*** or f*** off.

So — the bullshit in Christchurch was and is worse than the liquefaction — and if the trembling don’t kill you the council will.

I now vomit everytime I hear an earthquake promo on the radio, or see a poster saying help is available or hear anyone with a bit of house damage moaning on a bus.

For the record — Further blog entries will deal with the various police, winz, council, court, etc, contacts — past, present and future — my memory is reasonable even without my papers — and for light relief, the absurdities and ignorance and fear encountered between ’79 and ’09 while I worked at, for, with and finally against Inland Revenue. Including a bit of taxation advice that’d cost you big bucks from a ‘cunsultant’…

Today’s fun… on Friday 10th June?

Leaving my current abode, a big lodge, early evening, and there’s a policeman on a mobile outside, presumably to the security staff, — I walk out the locking doors and as they are closing he reaches for the handle. I close it completely and the exchange, where I politely noted that either a warrant or security staff are more appropriate than an unforced entry ends…

Cop:Thanks

ME: You might need a warrant for entry.

Cop: Piss off

ME: Did you just tell me to piss off?

Cop: Go away. Just go away.

His mate just stands there with folded arms as I’m ordered to go away… from my own residence… the rego of their copmobile? CBT622

Make a complaint about this the proper way? A few weeks ago Hornby police station had no complaint brochures or forms and the kindly officer there was going to order them from central, but oddly enough the unhelpful guy at central the same day said there were no complaint forms, and that I could ‘ring the number in the Yellow pages’ this was after he sat down at his desk when he found that in Cleese-like fashion ‘..I wished to register a complaint’.

I’d gone in there to get a phone number left at the scene of my crime by a witness which I was told by the police would be withh my effects — I was handed a homemade official information request by the clown at the lost and found and absurdly asked whether I knew the names of the officers involved.

So I took the opportunity to pick up the application form for a firearm license, as they did have a few of those on the display, and I’d never really thought much about guns or even liked the idea of them until recently… I have no pension fund, no savings, no saleable assets, nothing to lose, am no longer afraid of jail, and I pay $33 per week until 2018 for some broken glass. A gun would be a real comfort and an asset for anyone with that future. Maybe I can get a WINZ loan to buy on from Gun City.

Earlier today, pre “Police Piss Off’ i was at WINZ, (full details of the absurd interview with Helen the trainee who went to her trainer for her information at a later date), Helen told me there was no formal way to complain, no actual complaint section or national area that I could write to, and that any complaints would go through the local manager.

Funny, seems like an odd way to complain about the consistently bad service at WINZ and the differences between the thoughts on the posters and brochures and the actual practice of the staff.

A manager (specially the kind that call me ‘Darling’ out at Rangiora when they mean arsehole) might be a little biased.

‘We will listen to you’. Yeah, Never mind the bollocks.

I mentioned MPs and Ministers to Helen and she said ‘…well, you can do that, if you really want to’ I explained that I knew that, but didn’t know if she was aware of it.

So, is it illegal to write about the facts of a life..? Can you lose a benefit blogging? Get put in the cells? I guess here’s the only way to find out.

Ain’t seen anyone else in Shakytown exposing the puss-filled scabs that everyone else assumes are business as usual.

And you won’t find a single reporter who has wanted to interview me. So any comments in the press about my latest ‘dangerous and bizarre’ exploit are from the police statements or the judge.

Here’s a-bitter that ‘balance’ you might read about as being essential to well-informed thought, vitriol intact.

And when I stop blogging than either it is illegal to diary my life, or my life (and the red-tape) is just fine. Guess which is more likely

DT, aka DZ, aka ME, aka NGM, aka way too many other aliaii. 10/06/11 AD.

Axemen’s ‘3 Virgins’ Double LP NOW AVAILABLE

(re-printed courtesy of siltblog: Axemen’s ‘3 Virgins’ Double LP NOW AVAILABLE)

FINALLY! After a couple of years in the RE-making, the Axemen’s legendary dbl lp ‘3 Virgins, 3 Virgins, 3 Visions’ (hereafter known simply as 3V’s) is available for order. Originally seeing the light of day on the Flying Nun label in 1985, 3V’s is a broad canvas of sound, seemingly channeling other likeminded cornerstones of fringe rumble such as ‘Trout Mask Replica’, ‘Exile On Main Stree’t & ‘Tago Mago’. Just like last time (remember?) this is a limited edition run of 600 & housed is a stunning full color gatefold sleeve. Prices are as follows;
20$ppd-US
24$ppd-Canada
30$ppd-Elsewhere

*LIMITED TIME OFFER*

Add to your order both previous Axemen titles; ‘Big Cheap Motel’ lp + Scary,Part III double lp for only 15$ more! No extra shipping cost either!That’s 3 more lp’s! What a bargain!
(Just make sure to mention when ordering).

Paypal to; sltrx@pil.net

*AND WHILE YOUR HERE*

Check out this AMAZING 3 Virgins promo film shot back in the day by Stu Kawowski & Lawrence Lens (Nux Vomica, Portage mastermind);