The Axemen 30 years on – where are they now?

Pete Street Breakdown
Pete Street Breakdown c.1985 (McCabe, Kawowski, Brannigan)

Sunday 22 September 2013 marks the 30th anniversary of the seminal ‘Equinox’ gig at Dunedin’s luminary bat-corridor The Empire Tavern, pseudo-Transylvanian Castle (at the time) of the infamous Maureen, an actual vampire who was to become the Axemen’s gothic nemesis for a spell. And spell she could, she could cast a spell as evil as any of her coven, some say she was possessed, some say haunted, some kinder souls benevolently passed her off as merely ‘troubled’.

Axemen @ Neon Picnic near Auckland 1988 (L to R: Stu, Steve, Bob)
Axemen @ Neon Picnic near Auckland 1988 (L to R: Stu, Steve, Bob)

In 20/20 hindsight through rose-tinted spectacles perhaps her evil was somewhat exaggerated; after all many of the bands who were to go on to become the golden boys (and girls) of Flying Nun cut their teeth (in some cases literally) on the establishment’s beer and whiskey stained ‘stage’ – actually a minimally raised platform approximately the height of a matchbox – and many found the Axemen’s anti-establishment attitude towards Maureen and her hardline treatment of them and their music hard to stomach at the time.

“Why are you guys so hard on Maureen?” they would ask provocatively. ‘What’s wrong with the Empire?”

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away

They may as well have been asking the question of Luke Skywalker. Interrogation sessions such as this would often last into the wee small hours (the little hours) in the early years and would frequently rope in the entire rabble of a pub up to and beyond closing time with the Axemen often ending up leaving with a comet-like ‘tail’ of pub riff-raff hideously weaving their way down George Street or Colombo Street like lemmings following a pied piper in their worn boots and torn black jerseys.

Of course this was in the bad old days before they were ‘saved’.

Derry Legend recording session at Writhe Studio (1987), left to right: Stu, Dragan Stojanovic, Little Stevie McCabe and Bob Brannigan
Derry Legend recording session at Writhe Studio (1987), left to right: Stu Kawowski, Dragan Stojanovic, Little Stevie McCabe and Bob Brannigan

These days the amorphous almost mass-less collection of rubble and nuggets of pure energy and spit that started at the ‘big bang’ Empire gig back in ’83 are disseminated through space and time like a less organised Ort Cloud of ego-prodding drunken barnstormers cartwheeling their way across the universe like they were god’s gift, which in a way they were and still are. Oh the cavities they have filled, the intertwining they fostered, twirling together unlikely entities like the Anti-Crick & Watson slamming together strands and pieces of mean-old acid and nuclear tides into a semicoherent twisted whole.

Axemen: Hell Yeah

As if they had discovered Fusion and, not knowing how to enhance its mighty power, allowed it to burn wildly like a brush fire spreading its heat and energy in every direction, some pockets burning uncontrolled then dying out, others pacing themselves and emanating a warm glow for centuries, others sputtering and still others smouldering and eventually dying down not with a bang but a whimper.

Class of 2011
Axemen Class of 2011

They were the Axemen – like Hell they were!

These days things are just as complex and yet fundamental as they were in the beginning, only with emergence now beginning to happen as the positive feedback kicks in and the unknowing knower starting to know, as if today were a new tomorrow. The knower always knows and never knows – knowledge is like a bolt of lightning whumping down from the sky and enlightening the world like the perennial ‘knowers arc’.

Axemin, Whangarei
Axmin, Whangarei

Through thick and thin, good times, bad times, you know they’ve had their share – these are the Good Times, so lucky we got ’em, that scoop of chips on your shoulder aint heavy, its the bluebird, thats the blue jay way just turn your love around and take me back to where I belong – back to the future the past is the future history never repeats and a 600 lb elephant in the room never forgets who or what he or she is, even on a trunk call they’ll come up trumps, towering and trumpeting like a boogie woogie bugle boy, and yes, yes sir I can dance! Sally can’t dance bitch broke her back carryin’ water for the man he simply wouldn’t wait. Bilbo Baggins spinning in his Muppet-hole, a hobbit is a muppet without the personality, a hobbit can knock, a muppet can not – who can hold a hobbit up to the merest scrutiny I ask but who has the right to knock?

Happy Anniversary Axemen, let’s have no more repeats lest you end up dead on your feet!

Just out of embargo : Bott 13 – Came a Bott Friday – installment 1

bott13Te ‘Came a Bott Friday’ album was released sometime in 1987 and is also sometimes referenced as Bott 13 … te pota tiritina… enjoy!

1a Wake Of A Sinner

1b I Am The Seed

1c Yours Severely

1e Beats Under The Rocks S

1f Zion Steamroller S

2a Violence & Half-Uncles S

2b Too Much Beer–Too Little Sleep S

2c Dick’s Riff

2d Happy Ever After

2e Sondheim’s Serenade

2f The Devil Went Down To Woodstock S








Snapshot of Top Search Terms on the Blog, to June 2011

Search Views
dugong 6,357
switchblade 4,393
fonzie 4,047
humpback whale 2,809
whale 2,636
fingers 2,613
shrunken head 1,736
bonny and clyde 1,413
bloomers 1,187
sea cow 1,155
robert de niro 1,104
bonnie parker 1,040
old telephone 1,030
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humpback whale pictures 598
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?? ???? 44
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kurt cobain crime scene photos 25
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stu 24
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?????? 24
?????? ??????? 24
the axemen blog 23
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3 fingers 23
pictures of bonnie parker and clyde barrow 23
ritchie venus 23
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picture of whale 23
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coca cola stripe 22
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helm ruifrok 22
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coke logo 22
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picture of fonzie 21
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1960’s switchblade 21
eski telefonlar 21
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humpbackwhale 20
bloomers for girls 20
fonzie photos 20
eggman walrus 20
venus 2000 experiences 20
keporkak 20
the scape goat 20
chicks hotel 20
humpback whale picture 20
1950s switchblade 20
hump back whales 20
fonzie pics 20
still single 20
dildo pink 20
piece sign 20
leisha ward knox 20
morrissey 20
??? 19
psychedelic horseshit 19
brent hayward 19
mental telepathy 19
south dunedin 19
stu kawowski 19
coca cola logos 19
the real bonnie and clyde 19
eggman beatles 19
bonny and clyde photos 19
new zealand map tattoo 18
peeing girl 18
whale poop pictures 18
david theobald 18
steve mccabe 18
patton oswalt live at maxwell 18
humpback whale diagram 18
barbara ward nz 18
y2k blog 18
pictures of fonzie 18
dildo.png 18
the dugong 18
blundstone 18
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eski telefon 18
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roxy music album covers 17
affco 17
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shrunken heads pictures 17
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new zealand map tattoos 17
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humpback whale images 17
fuck pants 17
peeing in a cup 17
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1950’s switchblade 17
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“mick elborado” 17
humpback whale face 17
switchblade pics 16
pictures of fingers 16
clyde barrow and bonnie parker 16
shrunken maori heads 16
classic switchblade 16
eat skull blogspot 16
festival poster 16
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the axemen blogspot 16
“nocturnal projections” + ” worldview” + “blogspot” 16
picture of a switchblade 16
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clyde barrow bonnie parker 15
fuzztoned whale 15
sheep effect punikaiki mp3 15
coca cola 15
johnny’s switchblade 15
sea cow images 15
life in the fridge exists 15
bill vosburgh 15
kurt cobain’s suicide note 15
festival posters 15
bryde’s whale 15
robert de niro pictures 15
diary handwriting 15
sushi maker 15
baby dugong 15
1950 switchblade 15
times new viking axemen split 15
axemen three virgins blogspot 15
kurt cobain poster 15
finger 15
captain cook’s map of new zealand 15 15
pictures of badgers 15
bonnie and clyde pictures 15
cola logo 15
dr who monsters 14
old coca cola logo 14
springbok tour 1981 14
picture of a humpback whale 14
dildo clip art 14
cassette 14
shoes this high the nose one 14
old switchblade 14
happy bar wellington 14
kurt cobain smoking poster 14
beth murphy times new viking 14
eat skull 14
cobain diary 14
state crown 14
?????? ?? ???? 14
the walrus was paul 14
affco lyrics 14
humpback whale pics 14
flesh colored dildo 14
underground railroad morgantown wv 14
new zealand official seal 14
bolex camera 14
dugong pussy 14
bryan ferry 14
telepathy pictures 14
whale dung 14
“tom lax” 14
baby sea cow 13
celia mancini 13
humpback whale face good pictures 13
axemen 3 virgins 13
david theobald christchurch 13
capitalism – a love story 13
capitalism a love 13
buy switchblade 13
norbert haley 13
whale faces 13
dr who cybermen 13
candles on the cake 13
vfc4430 13
starý telefon 13
times new viking axemen 13
mere nihoniho 13
great scott boston 13
bonnie parker pictures 13
“say yes to apes” 13
alister parker 13
axemen new zealand 13
10 inch switchblade 13
how to draw a humpback whale 13
bonnie et clyde 13
whale humpback 13
kurt cobain smiling 13
john markie 13
square sushi maker 12
parrot cassette 12
chicks port chalmers 12
beatles abbey road cover 12
media club 12
dugong facts 12
german switchblade 12
bonnie parker photo 12
the old telephone 12
whale abuse 12
intimidate 12
hairdos 12
kurt cobain quote 12
rustle covini 12
picture of fingers 12
axemen taxman 12
coca cola label 12
mkultra 12
sushi maker test 12
a pink dildo 12
enjoy coca-cola 12
switchblade drawing 12
enjoy coca cola logo 12
the puddle 12
12 inch dildo 12
fat whale 12
dugong pics 12
bass player fingers 12
it boys 12
“robert deniro” 11
prsty 11
axe men blog 11
humback whale 11
chris knox barbara ward 11
doctor who cybermen 11
liesha ward knox 11
ugly whales 11
blue whale dead 11
flesh dildo 11
bonnie parker bar 11
whale watch 11
whale compared to a human 11
switchblades for sale 11
wmd symbols 11
pictures of bloomers 11
cheap 11
marsha ferber 11
scapegoat picture 11
peeing 11
axemen three virgins, three versions, three visions 11
axemen tour dates 11
coca cola racist logo 11
kurt vile 11
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cobain diaries 11
whale erection 11
pictures of bonnie parker 11
big m flavoured milk 11
huge whales 11
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whale pooping 11
kurt cobain in bed 11
dugong images 11
japanese killing whales 11
switchblade for sale 11
fonzie pic 11
forced exposure 11
whale harvesting 11
whale vomit 11
the axemen band 11
bonny e clyde 11
whale sex 11
mick elborado blog 11
bonnie and clay 11
single tumblr 11
dugong picture 11
girls peeing 11
whale photo 11

Chritstchurch 2010 dire straits – Columbo Street is Bending

Save the world christchurch

Columbo Street is Bending

columbo street is bending
not that you would know it
theres no depression in it
sheep shagging in far off fields
cashfields, leithfield, anwhere but darfield
whats with the bruises on your calves?
i was just feeling sheepish
i felt a little sheepish actually
watching reruns of kate and ellie
on the telly
with some hookers from the valley
they shoed up with frankie valli

in avalon, xanadu, rainman in cali
what happens in vegas goes on youtube
pardon me boy is that the cat who sat and shat on yer boob tube
and like you didn’t notice for 3 days
is that a record or is that your record being played or made
if i wanted to pull teeth i’d be a dentist
and if i wanted to pull the wool over the sheeps eyes, hell, i’d be a fundamentalist
because its fun for some you cannot be serious
deflate the balloon before he gets delirious
turn on the defibrillator now
don’t have a cow

you. cannot. be. serious.

i’m still sittin here waiting.
the ambulance is here but they’re not splayin me
i think they got some splayin’ to do, don’y you lucille?

ChCh Quake(s) September 2010ChCh Quake(s) September 2010
ChCh Quake(s) September 2010 - Photos: Elle Williams

1984 IS OVER

Workin for the man

workin for the class

he’s a hardy hard habit to break

I’ll meet you at eight

by the lake

and when you pull up don’t forget to brake

(not like the last screwup who forgot to apply his brakes)

Bald-win!  paedophile at the rock’n’roll high school

hangin round the gym just to get an eyeful

panties sometimes stockings sometimes petite brassieres

the i think he’s got what he’s looking for clear

he’s the bald one, the only baldwin worth his salt

and i love him with every  figure of my soul

but i’m only a man can’t you understand it takes a minimum of two to tango

Smouldering Love God Alec Baldwin weighs in
Smouldering Love God Alec Baldwin weighs in
I break for cake for gods sake

my mans in the outfield buying yellowcake

but its cream, tangerine, lemon ivy

harangued by caramel thats a sticky mix i see

I tweeted the bird sanctuary

they told me you had flown the coop

no biggie for tupac and biggie smalls

they’ll be the biggest rappers of them all

…the… twittersphere… full of nudgerigars
oh what a collossal waste

Life is pretty cheap but for the frozen cheap wasters!

gorillaform contenders, suedehead boots downout racists

steer, queers, souvenirs, novelties, party tricks

wait, you dropped your phony dog poo back there in the sticks!

because 1984 is over
i predict
the earth will have a grand opening party

and while all crumbles and the earth spits and swallows

a little girl waits.
give her fifty dollars.
she don’t need fitty cent
she need fitty dollah

Miley makes a big impression on Axemen

I often wondered if the stories they print on these pages are true or just made up by a bunch of horny youths frustrated at not getting any action – that is, until we went thru Nashville and met ‘the wild one’, Miley Cyrus.

The saga began when we had some time to kill, no idea where Miley lived but knew this was her home town, and were fast running out of gas. We cruised around for a while before parking up in a downtown gas station.

Miley and Bob - quit hustlin me, bitch!

“My turn to clean the car, lads!” Bob yelled enthusiastically, half-leaping, half tumbling out of the car then emphatically throwing off his shirt to expose his gleaming pecs. Steve bristled visibly as Bob manfully grabbed the hose, adjusted his nozzle and let loose with an intense  spurt of sudsy foam.

“Hey shut the door asshole!” yelled Dragan, awoken by the sudden presence of the foamy liquid on his face. “Thank god was… just a… dream!” he said semi-coherently, slamming the door as he regained full consciousness, while smearing the foam over his chest, pausing occasionally to lick his fingers and let out a quiet moan, and humming a few bars of ‘Karma chameleon’ before sinking back into a deep sleep.

“I just got the number for Miley boys!” Stu yelled, swaggering out of the gas station. “I got it right here on my phone! Its made for low light so i can’t actually see it out here, I’ll just nip into the toilet and write it on my hand! Anyone got a pen? i can change it but it says it needs to dowload the latest os updates first and one of my apps still uses system! I think i can probably just jailbreak it and run both systems, even if it voids my warranty.” Steve handed him the pen.

When he came out Bob was giving the car a final chamois down, and was pausing, rivulets of sweat drizzling down his chest, to pull out and light a cigarette.

Mylie and Billy Ray - achin for it

“Someone lookin for Miley?”

The owner of that instantly recognizable Nashville drawl grabbed the cigarette out of bobs fingers, took a puff and then returned it to bob, as if it had never left his mouth.

We instantly recognised Billy Ray’s surly drawl, hacking cough awkward limp and bulging Calvin Kleins, which on this day protruded as if he were hiding a couple of souvenir tennis balls from the last Williams Sisters final.

“Looks like you guys got a bunch of achey breaky hearts!” he sneered, spitting a drawlful of tobacco onto the carpet – at this point, 5 seconds or so of of canned laughter/applause came thru the P.A. in the dressing room.

“Hell that always happens when i mention the Achey Breaky [he paused to wait for the applause to die down] – i had it written into my contract when i was young and foolish and now i can’t seem to get it unwritten…. the dangdest thing. almost having some kind o pact with the devil himself.”

Stu and Miley, AKA 'Smiley'

“Anyway” he scoffed, snapping himself out of his thoughts back to his cockier past, before Miley, before Hannah, “You boys looking for Miley or Hannah? cos I can tell you now that Miley’s gonna cost a lot more than Hannah, being a virgin and suchforth – Hannah just your typical skanky ho, but Miley… well she’s somethin else”

“Well we just came to see Miley” chirped Stu.

He may as well have had a roll of “Admit One” tickets and a flashlight the way he ushered us into the seedy underbelly of Nashville, and we were ready to get season reentrys until dragan, the sensible one, pointed out we were leaving Tennessee tomorrow.

Miley Cyrus Night and Day Tour

“Maybe we can do Miley today and Hannah tomorrow” suggested Dragan.

“We gotta be in Fresno, St Paul tomorrow by 1400 EST for frikks sake!” said Stu “-Stat!”.

“Thats Ok, I’m not driving so i can rest all day tomorrow” said Bob.

'Miley' and Dragan

After evaluating all the options, including some tempting Miley/Hannah lookalikes who somewhat repulsively class themselves by age (‘I am good Miley from ages 11-12!‘ – see left‘; ‘you will find i am replicating well the Hannah Montana from Series 3! You will not be disappointed if you  have learnt all the catchphrases and characters!’,’i will give good hannah to meet your budget, ma’am!”;”I am the cheapest hannah around! I have all my certificates!”), and after some heated debate, we decided to do the Miley Cyrus Night and Day Tour.

Well… What a day and Oh, what a nite that was!

Miley Cyrus , Axemen ham it up on the red carpet

The Red Carpet Walk (Miley seemed to prefer calling it a ‘ride’) was the first real insight into Miley’s world. Among the glitz and glamour of the A-list celebrities rolling up to collect their awards, drink their fill, and try to eke a meal out of the tiny portions of food provided (Madonna: “Hey Lady! I think you gave me Kate Moss’s portion! I think even she would be lickin her lips and rollin up for seconds!)

We got our meal – Don’t think it did our cause any harm having Meatloaf and Buster Bloodvessel at our table

wunderbar REEVIEW PT ONE

Wunderbar, Lyttelton July 2009

The Aesthetics, Stevie McCabe and Bastardwisher =—–Wunderbar 28th July 2009
review by a participant.

“Come together – right Now – Over me.”

Gen X . The original punks, methinks the youngest of the Exers gotta be something like 33 or something. Ands there’s the ageism already. And thats the last of it.
And the Ugly Ambition get’s uglier and uglier and with brill creamed quiff’n’quim in the air and the hooting hops and testosteroney we all thought it would fall to pieces.

Wunderbar - Nice People Only
Wunderbar - Nice People Only

But salvage they do and on comes he the Little guy – Littl’ Stevie McCabe and his  gat’n’lappy, and blues as is orignal and as if as original and haast pass- haaart felt as you can linen!  Blues, riff and mulch! Audio that is – up up up the Stevie! Cause the bastards they wish!  And we’ve whipped it awl up! Ballad, plop and Kierkegaardens! Fellow puff knock colour dyke towels! Rockin on over to your best And Band tickle-me-punk!  Roster, roster outward bound to be schtoopid in Mickleodeon ! Oi Oi! Harden up! They actually told me to wear a hat! And those ballads and blues sawngs kept -a comin’! And the adrenaline flowed like lava! and mines immunes seeestem did chatter unt chortle. And the nazis and the jews didst fooozball! And the ROXY musics did SHINE! Sax and all! And meaning went home for christmas dinner! Then the bastardwisher set dried up the air and it was special interest sessions abound. Flights of plunder-beato and post-bonk riffer-refer-ama all making us blush and sneer. Blush and heave-ho ‘harden-up’ skin skin oi oi ‘this ain’t ’76’ bitches snitches and ditches. Jobs and slobs. Hogs and Dogs. Ruffle the feathers of Sunni england. Because opium is live and dangerous and the answer to all you prayers. As is Saint Barnaby. Tracker. Akka Dakka. And next was The Aesthetics. Ruffed up and tuffed up and seering. And oh the agony. And I wanna thank ya.

part two AS soon as possibull!!!!!!!


The Aesthetics at the Wunderbar, July 28 2009
The Aesthetics at the Wunderbar, July 28 2009
BastardWisher at the Wunderbar, July 28 2009
Creaky Back Stairs - Little Stevie McCabe Live at Wunderbar feat. MattMiddleton
Creaky Back Stairs - Little Stevie McCabe Live at Wunderbar feat. MattMiddleton