1984 IS OVER

Workin for the man

workin for the class

he’s a hardy hard habit to break

I’ll meet you at eight

by the lake

and when you pull up don’t forget to brake

(not like the last screwup who forgot to apply his brakes)

Bald-win!  paedophile at the rock’n’roll high school

hangin round the gym just to get an eyeful

panties sometimes stockings sometimes petite brassieres

the i think he’s got what he’s looking for clear

he’s the bald one, the only baldwin worth his salt

and i love him with every  figure of my soul

but i’m only a man can’t you understand it takes a minimum of two to tango

Smouldering Love God Alec Baldwin weighs in
Smouldering Love God Alec Baldwin weighs in
I break for cake for gods sake

my mans in the outfield buying yellowcake

but its cream, tangerine, lemon ivy

harangued by caramel thats a sticky mix i see

I tweeted the bird sanctuary

they told me you had flown the coop

no biggie for tupac and biggie smalls

they’ll be the biggest rappers of them all

…the… twittersphere… full of nudgerigars
oh what a collossal waste

Life is pretty cheap but for the frozen cheap wasters!

gorillaform contenders, suedehead boots downout racists

steer, queers, souvenirs, novelties, party tricks

wait, you dropped your phony dog poo back there in the sticks!

because 1984 is over
i predict
the earth will have a grand opening party

and while all crumbles and the earth spits and swallows

a little girl waits.
give her fifty dollars.
she don’t need fitty cent
she need fitty dollah

The Illustrated Steve McCabe Songbook Entry (0): Too Loose To Trek

TOO LOOSE TO TREK

Don’t let your genie loose in midstream

its horses for courses if you know what i mean

600 lb gorilla in a barr-brady suit

slick hair matted up like superglue

A rough-shod genie caught unawares and aloof in midstream ... "Hark!"
WTF? A rough-shod genie caught unawares and aloof in midstream ... "Hark!"

The critical mass runneth over

like a jehovas witness on gwynneth paltrow

looks like jealous bitchiness has the reins again

because when the rains come it looks like stormy weather again

Platos brain: hmm, perfect forms eh?
Platos brain: hmm, perfect forms eh?
A 600lb Gorilla in a Barr-Brady suit - An Officer and a Gentleman
Google Translate: Aye Carumba! not this shit again!
Google Translate: Aye Carumba! not this shit again!

Too loose to hang on to the reins!

when the rains come you will have mush for brains

if you keep your mind open

there’ll be bad brains rising from these tired remains!

Always counting chickens before they’re hatched

always have to steal my kisses down in the hatch

but your 6 ton ape is wearing falsies and a wig

and thats not real hair in his ear, its an earwig

Miss Peggy Lee
Miss Peggy Lee

Workin class man, no rod, bow or rifle

liable for libel, won’t give you an eyeful

of baubles, bangles and bronzed love beads

Can you tell me how to get to Simian Street?

Simian Street
Simian Street - scimitars ahoist

Janis Joplins Love Beads for sale
Janis Joplins unkempt 60's Love Beads for sale - as used in the original ad
Come with me and Peggy Lee on a slow boat to Harlem,

We’ll take the most rank cab that you got

handsome is as handsome does

this charming man has a hand in his glove

This is charming, man - bloody priceless
Charming... This is charming, man - bloody priceless!!

What he’s doing i couldn’t say

but he sure scared those pigeons away.

ooh yeah, but he sure scared those pigeons away.

hey hey, he scared those pigeons away.

HEARTBREAK HOTEL – TRUTH OR LEGEND?

Courtney Cox and Myley Cyrus tell of all night circus romp!

Axemen Test Kitchen: Steve McCabe tests the Sushi King (kauri square sushi maker)

(http://sushiking.co.nz)

Post by Mecca Be Vets

Sushi King in action
Sushi King in action in E20 test kitchen

Living and working in a smaller space gives one the chance to evaluate many innovative and space saving tools, given the limited kitchen area and restricted prep-room, some economy and conservation of preparation area in the areas of both menu (Roast Turkey, Glazed Ham and Side of Lamb are not ideal in the 9″ x 6″ Test Kitchen space, epecially as the main oven is a toast ‘n’ grill, perfectly adequate for one, with slow cooker and compact microwave as adjuncts).

Check out the Sushi King at Sushiking.com!
Check out the Sushi King at Sushiking.co.nz!

As an avid small-kitchen chef,I revel in anything which allows for using a limited food preparation area – japanese and other high density population areas invite and incoct such dishes and ingenious food processing tool inventors are only too happy to come to the party with clever, practical, and economical inventions such as the SUSHI KING TM which, with its offbeat ‘squaring the circle’ build-a-traditional-japanese-food-preparation-device-using-new-zealand-native-timber approach, would seem on the surface to be an oddity, a curiosity piece, the archetypal square peg in a rond hole, but somehow (oddly or not) it makes perfect sense and performs its intended function out of the box, as advertised, to the nth degree.

Sushi King - Hip to be Square
Sushi King - Hip to be Square

I’m Steve McCabe, and I like a tasty fish. With my life-threatening heart condition, and as an international rockstar with a substantial fanbase to whom I am still at times a fickle golden calflike idol, when i get a hankering for some pescine produce I look for an oily fish.

Sometimes I can’t get, can’t afford, or don’t feel like the brazen archetype heart-healthy, Omega-3-ridden, bulging with healthiness, stamina and proud fish-oil air of authority and entitlement,  healthy as a nutsack on heat hovering over a supersized bowl of garden Caesar Salad, breathing in the sweet nectar of toasting sesame seeds while trying to decide between the smoked or non-smoked salmon fillet, on the rye or on the pumpernickel….

Trevally Fillets The flesh is darker in colour when raw but once cooked the flesh turns brilliant white. It has a full flavour with a medium to firm texture. A high-oil fish suitable for a wide range of preparations.
Trevally Fillets
Ave Sangria - con los pescados
Ave Sangria - con los pescados

…Thats when I reach for Trevally & Sangria Snacks, Bar Snacks, Gel Rockets and Fantasy Fizz – there’s something for everyone!

From the far-off hills to the kids and their cheap thrills, a party’s not a party till you’re full of beans!

THNXGVNG with AXEMEN

11.30.2009

Reprinted from: http://worldofwumme.blogspot.com/2009/11/thnxgvng-with-axemen.html

Additional photos by Axemen

THNXGVNG with AXEMEN

There’s always something unimaginably comforting about heading home for Thanksgiving (or for that matter heading home on any number of select weekends throughout the year). But the gluttony and relaxation that persists on this particular holiday can not be overlooked.
As soon as I turn right off of I-75 and roll past the Waffle House and “hillbilly rifle outlet,” I feel like I’ve entered a virtual safe zone, a hermetically sealed environment filled with naps by the fire and limitless liquor – all with none of the annoyances and stress inducers of “real” life. I could honestly do it every weekend if allowed. For me, it’s my wind-back. It’s not getting older or lazier or becoming less of a patron of the arts. It’s the opposite – naturally removing the over-stimulation of bustling “city” life from my horizon line. So arriving at Peters and High (Elliott Manor) for this year’s turkey trough was met with hesitation, as we’d be hosting four lads from New Zealand known as Axemen.

I wasn’t as much worried about their settling into to a quintessential suburban ritual, as I was anxious how my parents might react to having America’s collector scum wet-dream tour (add one drummer from TNV to the mix) make a two-day stop in Troy.

Thanksgiving, Columbus OH

I shouldn’t have had any reservations. Patti and Jeff should get a medal for their hosting abilities. I never knew how liberal my parents actually are (now only if they’d align that mentality with their politics) until I saw them nurturing a gluten free meal for ol’ Dragan. But I digress.

Thanksgiving, Columbus OH

If you’re looking for tragic tales of drunken tirades and streaking through the town square or foul-mouthed kiwis looting the curio cabinet and tagging the doilies with pen knives – you aren’t going to find it here. Axemen are gentlemen. And though they may not be used to our ultra-consumer, warm and fuzzy, football coma shenanigans, they fit right in as adopted Elliotts.

If so anti-climatic, then why the post? Well, it was the well of anomaly that occurred at Troy, Ohio’s pre-eminent 18-35 yr. old hangout, The Brewery, the night before, which prompted this rant. Beyond simply wanting to tie one on in downtown Troy, beyond meeting up with an absent Justin Smith, beyond even the slightest want of nostalgic conversation with past peers whom I have nothing to converse, was a triple bill of Miami County’s finest “music.” Even then, the event of the week at the bar “everyone” goes to was pretty much split between dated booty music (first floor) and townie hard-lucks (second floor) and hardly a soul in the room with the stage, and the real instruments, and the performers. Still, it was a oddly intriguing trio of bands, going from karaoke rural gangsta’ rap to two-man Ween influenced mayhem, to standard issue thrash-emo-speed metal sludge.

Low Budget was first, featuring some kid who used to play basketball with my bro at the Lincoln Center back in the early ‘90s, replete with two hype men. They wore t-shirts emblazoned with Low Budget (were those made at the Troy Sports Center?) and hats reading the same. I thought the name was clever and their rhymes mighty inventive for what seemed like freestyle over the Ipod. In fact it reminded me most of another swang “low” duo from Cali, Low Profile, who went on to become W.C. and the Maad Circlen (a personal favorite). It did get tiresome, overwrought, and something I was happy stopped before it was too late. While I encourage all hip-hop troupes trying to make it in small town America (Teenage Soldiers R.I.P.), I would have liked to have seen them add some regional flavor to their oeuvre. I don’t know exactly what that would entail. In Columbus it’s a working-man, blue-collar, everyone’s invited atmosphere – so would this be sub-Columbus, or even sub-Springfield? I bet the gangsters thrive in Piqua. Explore there. Where’s Shane Darner when you need him?

Next up was the biggest surprise of the night. Electric Banana hail from Dayton, but seem to play most of their gigs at various submarine houses around Troy. Like the Weens, Chromeos, and Party Dreams that have come before them – most of what they do is borne of goofing and can only elicit good times, no heavy-handed criticism here. I’m sure if I were privy to the inane lyrics (I’m sure I heard “pussy” mentioned more than thrice) I wouldn’t have been as thrilled, and if they weren’t serving up PBR tallboys (just like home) I probably wouldn’t be expounding about their simple genius – but both factors were in place and the antics of Jimmy Spade, the mohawk-clad frontman of the two, made for a stellar evening. It was rudimentary funk worship and novel hip-hop in a stoner metal package, but they played it to perfection, knew how to work the “crowd” and had catchy melodies to off-set any whiff of scatology. I want them to come to Columbus, soon.

The last band of the evening could be wrapped up in one song. Through an Ocean of Plagues do what they do well, do it tight, and do it frenetic…..but I wasn’t in any kind of mood after the insanity of Electric Banana. I mean, c’mon, how you can take a band like this seriously? From their one sheet:

The phrase “Through an Ocean of Plagues” metaphorically describes the route humanity takes on its journey to self-destruction. Civilization evolves by consuming and destroying, usurping its power through the contamination and eventual erasure of its competitors. Rather than coexisting, Nature is enslaved, dissolved, and forgotten. Such is the legacy of future generations, once humankind has siphoned the last of the Earth’s resources. Without a target for destruction, we turn our sights to our own demise.

This rural Ohio quintet addresses these issues, translating the impending onslaught of disease, war, and social deconstruction into a medium by which they may express their opinions. The music is brutal, though it still retains a melodious quality meant to remind the listener that social harmony is lost but not forgotten. The live performance of the music parallels its subject matter, brutally portraying the bands frustration and outrage.

I did overhear the lead singer at 3 AM telling his friend he was headed home to “get fucked and fucked,” which I can only assume means he was continuing his quest for drugs and sex. So that was entertaining. But with all of this music, the highlight of the evening? — HUGH KELLY, smartest man on earth.

Axemen play in Columbus

But this was all about Axemen, right? Goodness. They played the Friday after the gorging in Columbus.

Axemen are gentlemen

I’m a bit out of words to go on and describe them, but it’s likely they showed a few “shitgaze” (sic) signifiers throughout their entire set of crust blues and the purest of kiwi protest/prank garage rock – but it all had the guise of a professional band playing like it was the last show of the tour.

This is how you do it. Release the Three Virgins already. I don’t have it yet. Three [3??? – LSM] of the most delightful men I’ve ever had the chance to meet.

Here’s hoping it gets this hopping over Christmas.