The Illustrated Steve McCabe Songbook Entry (0): Too Loose To Trek

TOO LOOSE TO TREK

Don’t let your genie loose in midstream

its horses for courses if you know what i mean

600 lb gorilla in a barr-brady suit

slick hair matted up like superglue

A rough-shod genie caught unawares and aloof in midstream ... "Hark!"
WTF? A rough-shod genie caught unawares and aloof in midstream ... "Hark!"

The critical mass runneth over

like a jehovas witness on gwynneth paltrow

looks like jealous bitchiness has the reins again

because when the rains come it looks like stormy weather again

Platos brain: hmm, perfect forms eh?
Platos brain: hmm, perfect forms eh?
A 600lb Gorilla in a Barr-Brady suit - An Officer and a Gentleman
Google Translate: Aye Carumba! not this shit again!
Google Translate: Aye Carumba! not this shit again!

Too loose to hang on to the reins!

when the rains come you will have mush for brains

if you keep your mind open

there’ll be bad brains rising from these tired remains!

Always counting chickens before they’re hatched

always have to steal my kisses down in the hatch

but your 6 ton ape is wearing falsies and a wig

and thats not real hair in his ear, its an earwig

Miss Peggy Lee
Miss Peggy Lee

Workin class man, no rod, bow or rifle

liable for libel, won’t give you an eyeful

of baubles, bangles and bronzed love beads

Can you tell me how to get to Simian Street?

Simian Street
Simian Street - scimitars ahoist

Janis Joplins Love Beads for sale
Janis Joplins unkempt 60's Love Beads for sale - as used in the original ad
Come with me and Peggy Lee on a slow boat to Harlem,

We’ll take the most rank cab that you got

handsome is as handsome does

this charming man has a hand in his glove

This is charming, man - bloody priceless
Charming... This is charming, man - bloody priceless!!

What he’s doing i couldn’t say

but he sure scared those pigeons away.

ooh yeah, but he sure scared those pigeons away.

hey hey, he scared those pigeons away.

HEARTBREAK HOTEL – TRUTH OR LEGEND?

Courtney Cox and Myley Cyrus tell of all night circus romp!

Tour Diaries: 2) Los Angeles, pre-tour

All Souls

Having now taken command of Los Angeles, and whilst allowing trade to continue as normal albeit under ein military regime, this is 2000 and some harrowing but major exceptions to the rule have decided, independent of the fully sanctioned and streets away, predictably, from where the real action was happening.

Hollywood 'n' Fry's
Hollywood 'n' Fry's

Notably, Stu and Steve (on behalf of the axemen as a partially available whole, or soul [‘The choice is yours, you tithe your 10% to your local rich-ass and you’re in line for the throne” struck out Pedro, his fb) buoyed by her decision to put a modicum of their eggs in one basket (as a causation equation and bearing in mind dragan and bob are initiated and primed to enter the arena at an unspecified yet predetermined time)

This first episode I call ‘WHITEY’

Science is fuck-all. We each have our own Memphis. We are all Elvis
Science is fuck-all. We each have our own Memphis. We are all Elvis. Who the fuck are you? - Steve Humann, thats who!

Checked out rental cars.  Some horseless carriages yippeeing up and restless, no doubt riled up by the host with the most, the antagonist, the chip mother, the screaming, breathing Grimm brother, th senseless one they don’t talk about, thy slipped a micky finn to one of those guys, who gives a fuck who.

HOWEVER

All Souls is an equal-fate non-soul-discriminatory story, primarily but not solely based on the sole premise that the soul’s sole is imprinted indelibly on the soul of the holy fisherman, the weeping fisher, the fishing weeper, the weeper who never fishes, across the river directly from the fisher who never weeps…
Ginger the sliced ginger guy grunts as he psycles off another few slices of ginger for the solely soulless. “Otherwise it’d be for the birds!” he quips, the word ‘birds’ rhyming with the oft-used-advertising phrase ‘dis iz forda boids’!, mostly famous for accentuating the long vowel sound in the 60’s.

Day 3 – We are off to Burbank Airport to check out rental vans.  stop.

What about these guys??? the Puddle Live-to-air at Radio Volcano, sweet as, direct from another universe

the puddle, live to air, radio volcano, lyttelton, one romantic gesture
the puddle, live to air, radio volcano, lyttelton, one romantic gesture

and this one with different scenery – needs more mick though if you ask me….

The Puddle - same song, better scenery
The Puddle - better scenery in this vid... wish george the best after his stroke - oops sorry that was that other guy

This is WWIV – LSM confronts the Iron Eagle

WWIV Song Cycle

01_Rock_Mountain

Rock Mountain

02_Push-A-Way

03  What Is Rock?

04  Back_2_The_City

05  Man-i-mal

ascent_of_man

06_I Wanna_Rock_It

07  Rock-n-Roll_Neanderthal

snake

08  Black_Snake

09  Heavy_Water

10  Iron_Eagle

Iron Eagle

This is WWIVIn 1999, Marty Sauce and the Source’s principal songwriter and G.I.C.S.N. conceptual guru Davey G approached Little Stevie McCabe about doing the soundtrack arrangements for his visionary (but alas unreleased – until now!) apocalytic concept album and rock opera, tentatively entitled “This is WWIV!”*USA Eagle

The libretto for this ethereal and ungodly masterpiece revolves around the epic journey of a young shepherd boy ‘Hombreo’  (to be played by a clean-shaven Marty Sauce) to the city after he sees a nuclear missile launch from the hills of his homeland, where he is tending his sheep.

Indian Nuke

In the still of the clear Afghani night Hombreo can see its trajectory for miles with crystal clarity, and follows it with his keen shepherds night vision [his eyes being locally referred to as so-called ‘sheep seeking missiles’] to its destination, where he sees an awe-inspiring and terrible sight; a huge white-orange flash followed by a billowing mushroom-shaped pillar of smoke rising in slow motion over the horizon like a startled king cobra emerging from its basket, shimmering against the rhinestoned velvet wallhanging which is the desert sky.

This is WWIV symbols

“Red Sky at night, shepherds delight” he murmers to the assembled throng of sheep,  now huddled, shivering, at the base of his rough-hewn towelling and sackcloth candlewick bedspread.

Hombreo takes off for the city and has his shepherd-boy eyes opened clockwork-orange style, real horrorshow like, by the myriad bestial and despicable sights he sees along the way, culminating in the grand finale, which takes plays in the lair of the bald, beclawed and bewildered Iron Eagle. Afight ensues ansd the inevitable happens.

Hombreo at first tries to behead, then is bemused by, then finally befriends the metallic bird, and together they rule the land forever from 1000 feet below the scorched earth at ground level.

This Is WWIV - Poster

* Other names shortlisted: “Apocalypse Soon”; “Nagasaki 2000”; “Boom!!!”; “Miss Afghanistan”; “Where Eagles Iron”; “It Aint Half Hot, Omam!”

Post: Talc Betel Vices Emit

You’re in the army, now, lad!

Vosburgh on AXEMEN

Vosburgh playing Shustak's Segovia 12-string 05/01/09
Vosburgh playing Shustak's Segovia 12-string 05/01/09

At the recent MONSTER GIG at Christchurch’s glamorous crumbling Media Club, Bill Vosburgh handed Kawowski a single A4 sheet with a few paragraphs written on it all in capitals, relating to his earliest recollections of THE AXEMEN days in Christchurch (1983-1987).

Phosby Still, with 'tash
Phosby Still, with tash - Dec 2008

Luckily he stuck around and performed an incendiary blues rock set that night, as well as jamming with Steve, Stu & Helm at 4am New Year’s Day out at South Brighton, and also playing a few songs on various acoustic guitars on subsequent visits to Kawowski’s seaside hideaway.

Vosburgh's perfectly spelled memories all in caps
Vosburgh's perfectly spelled memories all in caps

I REMEMBER WATCHING THE AXEMEN PLAY AT THE GLADSTONE AND THE FIRST 45 MINS CONSISTED OF STEVE FIDDLING AD INFINITUM WITH HIS ‘PAUL BUNYAN MACHINE’. AN ENTHUSIASTIC AMATEUR ELECTRICIAN, STEVE HAD SOMEHOW ATTACHED A FUZZ-BOX AND IT TOOK HIM THAT LONG TO FIX IT WHILE BOB AND STU MANFULLY IMPROVISED IN THE BACKGROUND.

AFTER A WHILE, THEY TRANSCENDED THE COMICAL AND THE PIECE BECAME A SURREAL EPISODE OF PERFORMANCE ART.

**********************************

AS I RECALL, THE AXEMEN WERE INCREDIBLY PROLIFIC, AND THEIR RECORDINGS, WHICH WERE PRIMITIVE TECHNICALLY IN THE EARLY STAGES, CAME THICK AND FAST. THEY GOT SOME LIMITED SUPPORT FROM RADIO U.

STU KAWOWSKI WAS AND IS A MARKETING GENIUS AND PRODUCED NOT JUST T-SHIRTS, BUT TROUSERS, STICKERS ETC, AND PRODUCED A MURAL THAT STOOD PROUDLY IN CHRISTCHURCH FOR OVER 10 YEARS, AS WELL AS MANY OTHERS THAT DIDN’T LAST SO LONG.

ALL IN ALL I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THAT THE AXEMEN ARE ONE OF THE LOOPIEST AND MOST ORIGINAL BANDS I’VE EVER SEEN AND I’M GLAD THEY’RE BACK ON THE ROAD.

A NOTE ABOUT STEVE’S COFFEE WINE: STEVE MADE THIS COFFEE WINE AND THEN DISTILLED IT – STRANGEST ALCOHOL I EVER TRIED. IT WAS MORE LIKE A BARB, AND I RECALL WALKING ACROSS THE SQUARE AFTER A COUPLE OF SHOTS AND HAVING TUNNEL VISION!

-Bill Vosburgh Dec 2008

The missing years

dsc04770aWhen Bob left Christchurch to join Stu in Auckland in the late 80’s (by this time Stu was starting to fall apart) Steve decided he would join the french foreign legion. Being a long time advocate of gun proliferation and a big fan of french food, it seemed a good idea at the time.

The escargot, the triple-cream deserts, the frogs legs, garlic bread and fine wine, all this and guns as well, it seemed a dream come true.

Initially it was. Steve laughed off the “there’s no AK-47s in foxholes” posters as he wolfed down the crepes, croissants and voule-a-vents that were liberally sprinkled around the recruiting office under the omnipresent tricoleuer flag.

re are no AK47s in Foxholes
There are no AK47s in Foxholes!

Steve’s buddy Screamin’ k Hawkins begged him not to go, singing a (sadly, unrecorded) version of “Billy, don’t be a hero” with a chillingly brilliant segue into “Please Mister, Please! (Don’t play B-17)” and a reprise of “The nite Chicago died” thrown in at the end [I can still hear the plaintive “…and there was no sound at a-a-a-all… but the clock upon the wall!” <tick> <tick> <tick> <tick>]

Screamin' K. Hawkins - Photo by Stu (from The Kenny Everett Years)
Screamin' K. Hawkins - Photo by Stu (from "The Kenny Everett Years")

Damn Don’t Ask Don’t Tell!
Damn the Statute of Lovingness!
Damn the Statue of Liberty, it stands for nothing!
Damn the Torpedoes!
Damn, Damn, Damn!

Brushing off the nay-saying of his nay-sayer friends, {and the neigh-saying of his horse friends}, McCabe glibly signed up for the standard 5-year service agreement with the foreign legion. Fortunately, being fluent in french he was able to put a tick in the “no,thanks” box saying “I agree to lick the butt of the current prime minister of France, on demand, and in perpetuity, as requested, and possibly {but not necessarily} in public”.

post: A Bit Cell Sec Em Vet Ti